MKNonline Blog

This day got off to the roughest start ever. It pains me to even write about this day.

Just a fair warning, you can already throw this anecdote in the “How did these three even come back to the States in one piece?” pile. Let’s go through this chronologically.

Night before – We all get back fairly early, do some initial packing, and set the alarm for 5AM. The plan of action was to be packed, ready to leave by 5:30 and take the bus up to the Gare du Nord train station, where we would pick up our tickets and go to Amsterdam. Our main concern at the time was that Sick Ezeibe doesn’t oversleep.

5:00AM – We all begrudgingly wake up. I vividly remember Ezeibe wondering why we had to get up so early.

5:40 – We exit the apartment, fully satisfied that we are only 10 minutes off our plan.

5:45 – We get to the bus stop. Except the ticker says the next bus isn’t coming for 45 minutes. Shit.

5:50 – “Okay, let’s just take the metro. There seems to be other people with luggage going down” I says.

5:53 – I fail at getting both my luggage and myself through the turnstyle. I go and buy another metro coin and try again successfully.

5:55 – The next train doesn’t come for another 28 minutes. Shit fuck.

5:57 – For the first time, I look at my train confirmation sheet. I had it in my head that our train left at 6:40ish and boy were we cutting it close…the confirmation email said our train actually leaves at 6:24. FUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!

6:00 – Panic sets in. We decide to take a taxi. I just paid for two metro coins for nothing.

6:02 – We get in taxi.

6:05 – Our taxi could not be going any slower. I want to kill myself.

6:15 – After the longest 10 minutes of our lives, we arrive. We quickly pay the driver (who really drove less than 2 miles) and all dart into the station. We get to the gate and see our train. Shit, we still need our tickets.

6:16 – I start walking quickly over to the help booth. Alan tells me to run. I ask the lady, who clearly was still setting up and hadn’t started her day where I can purchase tickets. She points me to the ticket machine.

6:17 – I’m now at the ticket machine. It tells me to put in my credit card. It doesn’t recognize or read my card. I try a few more times hoping for a different result like an idiot. I press every button on that screen. Still no ticket. Technology is failing me.

6:18 – I spot the line at the ticket booth. It’s about 5 people deep. Our train leaves in 5 minutes. But I’m out of options. I wait in line, hoping to die.

6:20 – One couple is monopolizing one of the agents. I want to throw a shoe at them, George Bush style. The other two agents seem to be going through their customers at a snails pace.

6:22 – “Well, of course it didn’t read your card. Our ticket machines don’t recognize US cards” – The teller tells me. Okay, whatever lady, just print out my tickets.

6:23 – I get the tickets. I start running. Our train leaves in…one minute. Ezeibe and Alan spot me running and take off as well. Now, they were at the gate, but unfortunately, our 2nd class entrance was actually SEVERAL dozen cars down from where the train ended. Oh…I should also back up a bit.

So of the little shops along the street where we got our bread each morning was one devoted to luggage, coincidentally enough. The day before, I was finally able to replace my torn up suitcase. The shopkeeper didn’t speak great English at all. When I attempted to ask if there was anything bigger than the bag I was holding, he gave me a discount. I immediately bought the suitcase I was holding. I still paid a good 50euros for a questionable and ordinary bag, but like all good dupes, I left the store feeling good I “haggled” the price down. And hey, the bag lasted the rest of the trip, even with my continued abuse of overpacking.

So back to present moment, I had run off to catch the train, ignoring any all possessions and travelers not attached to me. This left Alan to carry my overpacked suitcase that I had disregarded…in addition to his giant suitcase. Essentially, Alan did a 200 yard sprint with 75 pounds of extra weight. If anyone asked me what the most selfish thing I’ve ever done, I will tell you it was this moment.

There’s a good ending to this story. We did catch the train. The second the three of us got in, the doors closed literally 5 seconds later and the train was off. Unfortunately, poor Alan nearly died of cardiac arrest. Sick Ezeibe also sprinted 200 yards with his two bags and heavy sinuses as well. If you want to break it down, I had a slightly stressful but oddly invigorating morning jog. Ezeibe and Alan essentially ran a linebacker drill at 6 in the morning. And because I’m a douche who can’t pick up on unspoken signals, the minute we got in, I made some ridiculous comment in jest to the effect of “At least we didn’t waste any time just sitting here waiting to leave” that really, should’ve costed me my life. Alan claims this was a rather life-changing experience that will make him reconsider all his material belongings and material lifestyle.

We make it to Amsterdam, and again, our lack of preparation bites us in the ass when I realize we have no idea where our hotel is other than “It’s right by the train station.” A little bit of help from very cute Dutch girls, and we make it in. I fall in love with the receptionist, Famke, a cute Dutch girl with short blonde hair and a magnetic smile who said she was here to serve me. That’s the fluttering of my heart you’re hearing. She said it with a Dutch-English accent that made it seem like she had a bit of a lisp. I would find this sexy in all Dutch girls who attempted to speak English to me.

So we spent the rest of the day (and really, all of this took place before 11AM, if you can believe it) getting our bearings around Amsterdam.

Cool Things About the rest of the day
- European “frites” are the best fries you will ever taste. They are 10x more tastier with a tiny tasting fork. For the next four days, I had a batch from a roadside stand daily.
- Canals are awesome.

- Plenty of English speaking tourists and locals.
- Finally out of a cramped apartment and into a luxurious hotel.
- Ezeibe and Alan decided to take a nap in the afternoon to recover from the morning mayhem. I had such a good hour of zen at the cafe attached to the hotel, just drinking Heineken at 3 in the afternoon by myself watching people freeze their asses off outside.

- Hotel Concierge dude (Super Mario, as I called him) recommended a really good Dutch restaurant. We discovered Dutch cuisine is just American comfort food (beef stew, chicken, etc.).

Not-So-Cool Things
- Alan keeps us wandering for hours in the cold because he can’t navigate a horseshoe shaped city with just one of those ambiguous tourist maps. Magellan, he is not.
- It took us FOREVER to find a restaurant for lunch. We were clearly all hungry, but there was an excuse to NOT eat at every place we visited. The cafe we ended up at was my idea, but we literally walked in, walked out because we got confused because it was busy, walked around another 2 blocks arguing, and then walked back in to the very same restaurant. I had a great pint of beer here though. I wish I had gotten the name.
- In trying to ask the concierge for dinner recommendations, I first had to put up with two really annoying, snobby women from New York City/Jersey women. They could’ve been cast members out of The Real Housewives of NYC.

Downright Disasters
- Re-read the part where we didn’t almost make it to Amsterdam.

There is plenty more to say about Amsterdam, but I’ll save it for Day 14′s post.

Tags: amsterdam, longoverduevacation

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009 at 9:22 pm and is filed under Travel. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.