The Long Overdue Walkabout: Day 3 – Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls

The first night in Kakadu was…interesting. You know that cliche movie scene where a group of young campers are awoken in their tents by strange growling noises? That was pretty much our night. There were some terribly frightening rustling in the bushes that did not come from any human beings in the vicinity. The Germans accused me of snoring and inviting predators. I denied those charges.

Turns out, we all survived the night. There’s something refreshing about waking up with the sun to the sounds of the simmering campfire cackling nearby. Not as refreshing? Getting swarmed by flies the minute I leave my tent. My friends were back in full force, covering everything in sight, including our breakfast. Breakfast was some fruit cocktail with a side of flies. It was the most miserable breakfast I had ever eaten. And I fucking love fruit cocktail.

Today was waterfall day (actual falling water optional). We went to two. First up, another long-haul drive to Twin Falls. From the parking lot, you walked a short distance to the edge of a river hugged by towering cliffs, where a tiny dock and some rangers awaited. After a short wait, a scrappy looking boat pulls up and we hop on to take us to the start of the trail. And thus begins the Indiana Jones Experience, better than any ride you’ll find in Universal Studios. It starts with gently drifting down the river, encountering empty yet foreboding crocodile traps along the river edge. The towering cliffs are dotted with small caves that aborigines used to/still live and paint in. Imagine natives on the top of the cliffs with their spears aimed at you. And then the boat skids onto land and the hike begins. Due to the heat, we didn’t hike up to the top of falls, instead we hugged the cliffs from below, traversing over gaps and crevices, hugging the rock wall so as not to fall into streams and sharp rocks. It all felt so adventure-esque. You’re flanked by these massive cliff faces the entire time. And you end at this beautiful secluded beach with white sand. The sun is blaring down. You round the corner and then, right in front you…a trickle of water. Actually, two trickles of water. Welcome to Twin Falls during dry season.

Okay, so the waterfall wasn’t anything magnificent, but I’ll take it for the scenery and feeling like Indiana Jones. The stream was full of fun little guppies, which passed the time. We hung out there for a bit to bake/regroup, ate some cookies to replenish ourselves, and some of us tasted the water coming from the trickling falls. And then it was off to Jim Jim Falls. Surely, Jim Jim Falls would be spectacularly flowing…

NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE
The hike to Jim Jim was near death. From the parking lot, 3 EMT’s were carrying out a stretcher from their truck and rushed off as our group gathered to begin hiking, which was a little foreboding.

There was a VERY long stretch of giant boulders/rocks that you had to scramble through. My snail’s pace finally bit me in the ass when my group charged ahead, jumping from rock to rock with ease. Meanwhile, I clumsily tumbled off one boulder, onto another, and then scrambled up it. Repeat a hundred million times. Luckily, the two Brits also weren’t in the best of shape either and lagged a bit behind with me. We bonded over our travels and professions while we tried to push through the heat exhaustion and rock scrambling. This would’ve been a lot more fun if I wasn’t in such a panic of getting left behind. Eventually, they too passed me. One of the EMT’s passed along news to our group that a woman had fallen off one of these boulders and injured herself. She was going to be air-lifted out. That sucked. But at least I could probably bum a ride if needed. Along the way, there were random people having picnics on these giant boulders and gaps, which I just found strange.

Finally, the rock scrambling ends and you’re at the beach and base of Jim Jim. While Twin Falls prohibited swimming because of the possibility that crocodiles could’ve been hiding in the water (even .01% isn’t a risk worth taking when it comes to man eating crocs), Jim Jim’s water was clear, croc-free, cold and open for swimming. One would think we were all on fire the way we scrambled to jump in. The Jim Jim lagoon was just a series of large boulders submerged in water. You could “walk” across water in some spots. It wasn’t a jump into deep water like Maguk, but a gradual sink, so you can lay in the shallow end with your head poking out of the water and watch the fish envelop you. And this is exactly what I did for the next hour or two, along with Katie, the German female sibling who looked like Katy Perry, and my new fish friends. Life couldn’t be sweeter. The only thing with the German siblings (Katie and her brother Alex) were they were quite the travel snobs. They had been traveling the world for a few months already as part of their gap year and working in the hostel across from Dingo Lodge. Suffice to say, Kakadu did not excite them as it did me. Katie was particularly unimpressed by Dillon’s tour guide skills and the sights seen thus far. Just some empty waterfalls and a swamp with birds. Fair enough, I guess. She wasn’t pleased to be sharing the watering hole with the fish, either. Now that’s just crazy.

A second discussion of note came as we all floated in the water and pondered this pending helicopter airlift, how exactly will this work? where would it land? Won’t it hit the cliffs? Can we get a ride back? Shouldn’t the woman be dead by now? I mean really, it’s 100 degrees outside and she’s been injured for like 3 hours. A helicopter pilot had actually joined Dillon at the beach and we peppered him with questions. He apparently does mostly commercial work as a helicopter tour guide. The copter was going to land on the beach, and the EMT’s would load her up. The pilot would also join the ride. I wondered aloud if it’d be a Sikorsky helicopter, my former employer. Thomas the Czech was instantly disgruntled and went on a rant about how Sikorsky took over the Poland Mielec plant and basically destroyed the local economy and town…awkward…

So much time had passed when the helicopter finally came that surely this lady’s leg must’ve turned grange green. Most of the group had gotten tired of the water and were wading in the shallow end with me and the fish. I realize I work for a helicopter manufacturer, but this was really my first up-close experience of a helicopter landing. And let me just say, you should never be close to a helicopter when you are on a sandy beach. The copter sent us all ducking for cover as our faces got peppered with sand. After that chaos, everyone started brushing off sand from their belongings and I couldn’t find my glasses. Man, that would’ve been terrible to be blind for the next 2 weeks. As everyone scanned the beach to help the tragic blind kid, I cursed my poor vision. I lifted up a blurry object that I assumed was my hat from the sand and luckily found my glasses underneath. Phew.

A few other eventful things:
In between Twin Falls and Jim Jim Falls, we had lunch in the middle of nowhere (surprise) with a million flies (surprise). We also took a short hike where we climbed a really precarious cliff. From there, we basically got a 360 panorama of the flat savannah wetlands of Kakadu. The cliff could probably support one or two persons at a time, but once you get over the vertigo, you felt like you were in Africa holding baby Simba in the air as birds flew around you and animals bowed down to their future king.

The drive to Jim Jim was probably the most fun off-roading track ever. What probably could’ve taken 10 minutes in a straight line, the path decided to snake all over the place. It could not have been a more indirect route to destination. And it was bumpy, rugged, and totally awesome. The tank threw us all over our seats. And then we fucking forded a river. A supposedly croc-infested river, nonetheless. Amazing.

After our waterfall adventures, we drove a surprisingly short distance outside of Jim Jim and into our campsite. This campsite left me with some mixed feelings. This campsite had a bathroom facility with showers and multiple toilets! But it also had about a dozen other tour groups sharing the campsite, which kind of ruined the solitary experience we had been having thus far. Nonetheless, it was nice to sleep and live comfortably for once. As the sun fell, storm clouds gathered a bit in the distance. The air pressure also visibly plummeted. The air felt very strange and winds gusted through the campsite, I sensed a famous outback thunderstorm was about to occur. Unfortunately for me, I was in the midst of hanging out my clothes. I hurriedly took them down and ran for my tent with clothes in hand. Unfortunately, it was a bit of a false alarm. A few scary thunder pounds and some drops of rain. But I’m so glad I took my wet clothes off the clothesline, as it was home to a colony of giant ants. It was also fortunate that I threw said pile of clothes covered with ants into my tent before realizing the amount of ants on them. I spent the rest of the evening obsessively brushing ants off myself and my tent interior.

Bugs man…they’ll forever torture me.